Too much for me.
Engulfed by the sea of indifference I sailed again.
Resting in a quest for nothing and just to embark in the discovery of the horizon, I left myself alone in front of the mirrored water. I couldn’t stand, to see the reflected guilt of ambition and success, without thinking about the price I pay as an indulgence of punishment.
The cost is of the highest order and the interests are made of scars.
In the turmoil of self commitment i praise the creed of the righteous believer when I wait for the time to push hard, but I find myself alone at those sprints… For the lack of vision, for the regret of truth, for the pain of death and even to block the path of others I found I am always building a new direction, on an endless track made for others. I want to stop.
I want to be a selfish, egomaniac, arrogant, possessive image of me. I want to become just like the others. I want to comfort me with innocent words of disdain, pleasurable moments of dishonor and jealously become human. I want to have all I cannot let myself be just because I know more of others than they know themselves. I want to burp talent and satiate my mind with opulent sins made common. I need more.
A choice is never made without compromising the selection of the future, but is instead a deep and meaningful way to get the best of the leftovers from the desired expectations. Not for me.
Regret comes to the picture, but just to create a new ambition from the errors of the wrong ones that stayed behind. This is why and how I can’t stop wishing to be just like you. But I’m not able to.
I am a monster of me.
the MONSTRUTKOR